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Jacques Marie Dominique Levesque. 2nd Lt., (Honorary)

Jacques Marie Dominique Levesque

 

 

The most obscure and by far the most "lost" of the Lost squadron was a French National who's name is believed to have been Jacques Levesque.  He wasn't an official member of the squadron due to his nationality and poor hygiene.  His very existence had been the subject of much debate until recently when photos of Levesque surfaced, including one of him surrendering to what appear to be a group of Turkish Pre-school children. Several differing accounts of  Levesque’s cowardly existence have been brought forth,  the most probable account follows.

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Jacques in his natural pose

 

All that is known of Levesque’s pre war existence is that he was born in 1889, the 5th bastard son of a piano bar gigolo and part time mortician.  Levesque’s childhood consisted of being shuttled from one saloon owner to the other where he would demonstrate the latest embalming techniques for the patrons in exchange for his room and board.  This would make lasting friendships very difficult for any child, combined with Jacques personal hygiene habits, friendship became impossible.  Thus Jacques early years were filled with loneliness and heartache.   In many people a childhood such as this would have doomed them to a life of mental torment and emotional bankruptcy, and Jacques was one of those people.  Additional knowledge of his early personal life is limited to the fact that he had an extensive collection of belly button lint that he claimed came from some of the most famous bellies in the world.  More than likely the majority came from Jacques own belly and perhaps some from between his toes, the author defers discussion on this point.  Some records show that he did serve in the French army until coming within several miles of the front whereupon he realized how very loud the war actually was.  It is believed that he then simply deserted.  How he wound up in Gallipoli has been lost to history.   It is quite possible that he merely got lost.  Although he is reported to have mentioned to Bunny Osgood that it was a good thing he had towels during the journey. The exact meaning of that statement has never been determined and apparently, Bunny was, understandably, disgusted enough not to inquire any further. 

Sources do indicate that he was not in the region long before he met up with the squadron.  Knowing that his own history was as unremarkable as it was repugnant, Levesque decide to claim the identify of one of his fellow Frenchmen. Ap-   parently Levesque told the Englishmen that he was the French Ace, Jean Navarre.   Navarre had made quite a name for himself driving the Germans from the skies in a Red Nieuport over the battlefields of Verdun. Few of the squadron, save Cmdr Heydor-Whetwissel, actually believed he was Navarre and those that did, were quite drunk.   Most of the squadron members had their individual quirks and this minor indiscretion was overlooked by the rest of the group.  His one saving grace as a human, was the fact that Jacques was an accomplished whiskey distiller.  This obviously picked up in the various saloons and brothels that made up Jacques childhood.   His particular specialty was a concoction he referred to as Feline Cadaver 151 (FC151).  While it is questionable if any actual cat material was used in its creation several other squadron members diaries do record that the cat population seemed to decline steeply from the day of Jacques arrival.

It was also only a short time after his appearance that Jacques was given the moniker "The Mole" as much for his annoying habit of burrowing into the nearest sand dune at the first sign of trouble or soap, as it was for the fact that he actually looked very much like a mole.  Out of gratitude for his distilling abilities he was assigned to a derelict Nieuport, which he immediately painted bright red in order that should he misplace it, it would be easier to locate. It was not long, however,  before it was evident to all involved that Jacques had not the flying ability or the raw courage of a veteran fighter pilot, or even that of   the average gigolo's son.  The mole held tight to his assertion that he was Navarre and that he just forgot how to fly on his long journey from Paris.  The squadron was in time able to make Jacques into a passable pilot, and bestowed upon him the honorary rank of 2nd Lt., but courage was something they could not instill.  On one occasion while conduction routine observation, Jacques turned his red Nieuport and flew home at a blistering speed.  His rational for the sudden and completely unnecessary retreat was that, "Whilst I was keeping an eye on the Turks I saw several of them looking fiercely at moi".  If more evidence to his legendary "lack of spirit" or cowardice was needed it came when, as mentioned before, The Mole surrendered to a group of school children that been pelting him with pomegranate rinds for the better part of five minutes.  The latter incident caused several junior members of the squadron to call for his arrest and trial for cowardice.  All talk of the matter was dropped when it  was pointed out that if The Mole was arrested someone would have to guard him. That person would also have the particularly distasteful duty of actually having to talk to him. This was a sacrifice none were willing to accept, and they reasoned that the pomegranate rind could blind one if they impacted on the eyes.   What went undocumented was simply, that if The Mole went, so went  the whiskey.  Levesque continued to "serve" alongside the British pilots until the end of the war.  Several reports of his whiskey coupled with Pinkie Heep’s "High Teas" were legendary.  His record was completely unremarkable save the fact that he managed to avoid every single instance where there was actual fighting and the one bomb he did drop failed to detonate.  The bombing incident was most fortunate owing to the fact that Jacques dropped it as he was carrying it to his aircraft.   He claimed too have been attacked  by a unusually large desert clam.   This occurred after the aforementioned High Tea.  Jacques was awarded a medal for bravery, and the standing members of the squadron searched for the clam till they passed out (alcohol or fatigue is not documented).
 
Little is known of The Moles life after the war.  However rumors persisted that he had been killed in a tragic penguin trapping accident, and yet other reports indicate he moved to the island nation of Borneo and ironically became the worlds first motivational speaker.

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